Gary Garble

The name Gary Garble is certainly not my own, I credit this nickname to a talented observer of the Juneau-verse, Stickpaste.

Gary Garble is a walking, talking* farce. He is absurdity on two over-taxed legs.

Gary Garble is sloth. Gary Garble is questionable hygiene. Gary Garble is waste. Gary Garble is addiction. Gary Garble is a disaster.

Gary Garble is friendly but makes all but those who share his despair uncomfortable. Gary Garble is random yet predictable. Gary Garble is confusion and impulse. Gary Garble is a strange, mumbling, groaning, stuttering mess.

Seen about Juneau in all weather donning cotton shorts and T-shirts which mock him, unaffected by the cold due to a heavy layer of insulation, always seemingly coated in sweat he wanders from bar to bar or to and from McDonald's or Heritage coffee.

Desperate for friendship, as many who frequent the bars during the less crowded hours seem to be, he will strike up friendship with the other lonelies, conversation over nothing, and he will generously or desperately treat these lonelies to drinks or share in a batch of pulltabs.

It is possible that there is a constant supply of alcohol to that blood stream, as Gary Garble never seems to alter his mood much. Gary Garble when he enters the bar is not much different from Gary Garble when he leaves the bar, it varies only depending on his fate in pulltabs.

Gary Garble is confined by his impulses. He will drink more and more, spend more and more, and to what end? You can sometimes see the dark urges and the scarce bit of rationality clashing. An internal monologue gone external, a private battle bared to the bar: Gary Garble will verbally try to persuade himself against spending more money on the pulltabs, sometimes logic wins, sometimes chaos wins. Sometimes Gary Garble will walk away from the losing game, only to be drawn back later by unseen forces.

Logic and rationality do exist. This rational side takes hold sporadically and randomly. Usually Gary Garble is following instincts, urges, or perhaps the pull of the tide or other unlikely forces.

Untidy whitened combover, constant greasy appearance, obesity, slovenly dress: these are the physical attributes. The more abstract descriptions might have been enough to pinpoint him in a crowded bar, though.



*Gary Garble doesn't so much talk as mumble and stutter and groan and slur.